Respecting my comfort zone is a new concept to me. I feel like most people were taught this from a young age. I didn’t start acknowledging or even knowing what my comfort zone was until a couple of years ago.

I have heard more quotes about going out of your comfort zone than about staying in it. This caused me to always push myself and do things even if I didn’t feel like it or even if it felt wrong. I had a career in the service industry off and on (more on than off) for over 15 years and I mostly hated it. But I thought it was good for me to get out of my comfort zone. At various jobs I have heard people say, “I am not comfortable with that”, and that always baffled me. It made me think um… it’s your job, you’re not here to be comfortable…who says that? But really, we should be respecting our comfort zone like this and if we’re not comfortable with something it is our job to speak up.

I am now learning to stay within my comfort zone and to notice what things in life give me anxiety. I think staying out of my comfort zone for so much of my life and absolutely not respecting it has caused me a lot of stress. Granted some of that is good stress, aka eustress, but I think it is taxing to our nervous system to live that way for so long. I think it is harmful to the grain of who we truly are to do this excessively.

I am living a much more mindful existence now and I can tune into and identify situations and people that rub me the wrong way. In my career I have mostly worked one on one with individuals with mental illness, disabilities, etc, and health coaching. I have realized that I need a break from working so directly with people, especially when I am their main support system. I’ve realized how much other people’s moods and energy affects me and I am starting a new course of work that I’m sure will give me a break from dealing with people as much. (I have started a professional home organization business, you can message me if you want more details.)

Something else I have noticed is there is a difference between your comfort zone and your boundaries. I believe our boundaries should not be crossed and our comfort zone is okay to step out of sometimes. Our comfort zone is important to step out of when it benefits our lives and gets us moving towards our values. The internal dialogue would go something like this, “I am nervous to call my new client because phone calls make me feel uncomfortable and I could potentially experience rejection while putting myself out there like this. Although, communication, career, and financial security are some of my values and I am passionate about the work I do so…I will make that call despite feeling nervous.” Here is an excellent resource to help you identify your values ://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm.

A lot of this has come up with the work that I do. I have had many jobs and career changes in my 20 years of working (I started when I was 14). I was raised by a father who showed tough love and had a very strong, Midwestern work ethic. I was taught to not tune into whether I felt comfortable or not while at work and that if it was my job then I had to do it, no ifs ands or buts about it. I have been going through life like this, this is also some very black and white thinking. This has caused me to really shut off my feelings when I’m at work, especially if it is ever uncomfortable. When that is the case, I tune out of what I am doing as sort of an escape and a protective mechanism. Then it is like I am not fully present, just like a corpse moving through the motions. I’m sure this is somewhat common as we don’t always love the work we’re doing, but I am going to try to be fully present in the work I do and continue creating/finding work that aligns with my core feelings, values, and purpose.