Hello, it is June! It’s been a hot and not-hot June here in Colorado. We’ve gotten a lot of rain and random cool days which I’ve been loving! Since my dog can’t stand the heat, I no longer like it. It adds some stress to my life to make sure she is comfortable and pampered at all times.

I wonder if I’ve adapted to cooler temps because I crank the AC for her in my house and in my car. The AC in my car only has vents in the front so I’ll be freezing so that she can have cooler temps in the back of the car.

Working More

I started a new job and it has been a hell of an adjustment but I believe it’ll get better with time. Change is hard for everyone involved!

It is surprising how tired I have been! I started waking up about 2 hours earlier than usual about a month ago. I’m certain my body has adjusted to that by now. I got another client whom I will work for on Thursday mornings. So these 2 new additions to my schedule means for the past 2 weeks I’ve worked an extra 15 hours per week. In a couple weeks it’ll increase to a total of 21 more hours per week in addition to my usual weekday hours. Luckily we are able to sort of gradually move up.

Deep Fatigue

This is the second week with the new job and I noticed Wednesday morning I was so tired. Tuesday night I started feeling dead tired by 9 pm. Even with waking up earlier that still felt a little too early. I fell asleep probably by 10 pm. When my alarms went off at 6:00 am I felt dead tired. Like, “oh hail naw”, tired. Even though I slept enough.

Brain Dumbness

I proceeded to get through the day even though I felt crazy tired. The main thing I noticed is that my brain felt dumb. It felt like moving through swamp water. Everything going on in my head felt slow and off as if there was a smoke screen between me and the “real world”.

Brain Fog

I’ve dealt with brain fog since I was in middle school but back then when I told doctors about it they looked at me like I was speaking another language… No clue what I was talking about. Now I feel like everyone understands what brain fog means.This week, I deduced that it was migrainous activity. I think too, starting a new job and being responsible for a lot of new things could increase fatigue and brain fog. That got me wondering, “why though?” Why do we/I have to be so tired from increased activity and responsibility.

Can’t I be energized by it all? In some ways I am newly energized by it, getting outside of my comfort zone, having less time in the day to do whatever I feel like doing (aka being lazy is not even a possibility). I am just surprised at how exhausted and overwhelmed (at times) I am. I’ve had a few days off from the new job, I’ve still been busy but today was less busy. I still have had a ton of stuff to get done and prepare for but it’s at my own pace, all on my own terms which is definitely a different type of busyness.

Gym

I realized I probably had a migraine lingering or ramping up today (Friday). Where I just felt so. dead. tired. But I went to the gym anyway. I wondered if I shouldn’t, I wondered if I could but decided I’d go and start. That if I felt like I couldn’t go on, it’d be okay to stop at any point. As I was on the elliptical, I got that workout “high” and it felt awesome. I still had some fatigue but for me, exercise always cuts through fatigue and brain fog. I am always more energized after a workout. I’m glad I went.

Pushing Yourself

Lately I’ve been experimenting with pushing myself harder. For years I did a lot of radical self acceptance and was purposefully easy and gentle with myself. Until I realized that letting myself get away with things that aren’t good for me is not self-love. Now when I don’t feel like doing something I know would be good for me, I ask myself if I am I physically able to, or would it injure me somehow to do the planned activity? Self, “could you though? COULD you?” Usually, the answer is yes.